A very Beat Christmas, courtesy of McSweeney's Internet Tendency.

While looking up "poop" in the Oxford English Dictionary I came across this entry:


poontang, n.

Sexual intercourse, sex; women collectively, or a woman, regarded as a means of sexual gratification. Also attrib. Hence as v. intr., to copulate.

1929 T. WOLFE Look Homeward, Angel 343 A fellow's got to have a little Poon Tang.

1947 C. WILLINGHAM End as Man II. vii. 78 Poley looked out the window and saw a pretty Negro girl on the sidewalk... ‘Eye that poon tang there,’ he said.

1959 R. CONDON Manchurian Candidate ii. 21 Every now and then I think about you coming all the way to Korea from New Jersey to get your first piece of poontang.

1966 C. HINES Heat's On xv. 122 That ain't our racket. We just sells poontang here.

1968 E. J. GAINES Bloodline 144 Yesterday this time I was poon~tanging like a dog.

1970 D. DODGE Hatchetman x. 127 ‘Is it true what they say about gook women?’..‘I heah it changes youah luck, though. Like black poontang.’

1972 ‘T. COE’ Don't lie to Me iv. 44 May be you're some kind of poontang sex maniac.

1972 Listener 22 June 845/2 Massa gonna smack yo black ass, nigger. You can't go chasing white poontang all night long.

1976 Honolulu Star-Bull. 21 Dec. E-10/6 (Advt.), The other girls majored in home ec...but Debby majored in Poon-tang.

Despite the bad times at The Beat recently, there still is good news and glad tidings: our LORD now has a permanent presence among us. Thanks to Zach the Pirate and his theatre goonies The Beat is equipped with a giant cross which, as you can see, now hangs from the ceiling. If only we knew someone to play the organ for our in-house services...

Dylan has cancer.

(The following is what I've heard from August and subject to his revision)

Dylan has stage 4 Hodgkin's disease, which is a form of lymphoma.

Stage 4 is highly advanced, meaning it involves other organs besides the lymph nodes. Dylan apparently has a growth in his lungs.

The average recovery/remission rate is 80-85% for Stage 4 Hodgkins. The good part is that it is a very localized growth and hasn't spread to any other place, which is much more difficult to treat. The fact that Dylan is younger bodes well for him as well.

If you know him, I think Dylan's character as a human being really speaks for itself. All our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family. I'll try to find some contact information and post it this week, so we can write and visit him.

Tonight The Beat decided to have a bit of a bonfire. One of the Beat sofas and that disgusting floral print chair that everyone left for dead at the beginning of the year are officially a pile of ash.


Taken from the roof.