Totally unsupported caucus predictions:

Obama beats Clinton, but within the margin of error. Edwards, not knocked out, joins forces with Richardson. Kusinich claims victory, no one knows for what, and Shirley MacClaine agrees.

McCain gets a surge, though not a win. Huckabee takes it, leaving the party split between McCain and Huckabee. Limbaugh gets mad, Huckabee becomes the GOP version of Howard Dean, and Romney takes the nomination. Gulliani says something something 9/11 something terrorists win.

At least one Ron Paul supporter, possibly while tagging the side of the tallest building in Iowa, is shot by a police officer. He will later claim to have been attacked by UN-sponsored riot police.