I think Farnham needs some of these....and Dr. JJ

Someone has been watching too much SNL.

'I'm a big fan of Radio Control'

One Valentine's Day, Hugger and I watched that movie with Paul Giamatti about the guy who lived in Cleveland, was really sad, and drew a series of comics about how sad his life was. American Splendor, about Harvey Pekar. I remember we went to the video store and every movie about anything remotely related to love was checked out, even "Assassination Tango" and Maggie Gyllenhaal's S&M-romantic comedy.

Not that we were looking for a romantic movie, but the shelves were wiped and the desperation of that was sort of stark.

So we got this really really sad movie about a really really sad man, who seemed a lot like my friends, and a lot like me.

Case in point: Hugger didn't watch the movie, because he was drinking peach schnapps and had been drinking peach schnapps since he woke up that morning. He will claim that this has nothing to do with the fact he was spending Valentine's Day with me, but he's full of shit.

The movie really depressed me. Not because Pekar was pathetic or lonely or sad, but because he didn't have any fight left in him. I wanted to have some way to fight back, even if I was pathetic, some way to hope things could be better, even if that made me pathetic. This is why I thought American Splendor was sad, but thought Love Liza, with Philip Seymore Hoffman, was beautiful. Dave Frank used to try to push that movie on people.

I really like it, he would say. I just really like it.

Dave and I didn't watch that movie together, so every time he told me he really liked it, I would say I did too.

Did you see it? he would say, and he would point at me. Dave always pointed at me, his hand like a pretend gun, like I wouldn't know he was talking to me unless he pointed.

Yes, I would say. I did.

I really like it, Dave would say. I mean, I really like it. A lot of people didn't like it. They were like, 'this is sad,' but I just really thought it was good. It was a good sad.

Hoffman's character in the movie, Wilson, thinks that Radio Control planes could save him. He tries to get over his wife's suicide and his addiction to huffing gas by becoming a fan of Radio Control. He was really really sad and lonely and pathetic, and seemed a lot like my friends and a lot like me, but maybe more than Pekar, because he had some kind of hope. He could get excited about things and in one scene he goes crashing into a lake, just so he can tell people that he has an identity.

Do you know who I am? he says. I am a big fan of Radio Control.

I thought he was going to say he lived at the Beat.

I was thinking about this when I read Dave's last column. I really like Dave's columns. He makes himself sound sad, like what my mom would have said was sadsack, though I don't know exactly what that is. But like that. Except he also has that kid-like consternation, and he sounds really sweet, which was always Dave's big secret.

In every one of his columns, I keep wondering if Dave's going to suddenly get excited and start yelling that he loves Radio Control. If he ever does, I hope someone's there to tell him they do too.

From the leaked script of Oliver Stone's movie about George Bush, an oddly Beat scene:

After being accepted to Harvard Business School, W. downs a pint of Wild Turkey, drives onto the lawn of his parents' Washington, D.C., home, and challenges his daddy to a boxing match.

George Sr. is pretty reasonable: "My advice to you—go to an AA meeting."

George W. is pretty adolescent: "Thank you, Mr. Perfect. Mr. War Hero. Mr. Fucking-God-Almighty."

I just clicked "edit page" under the disambiguation page for "the beat" and added a quick line. It will probably be gone tomorrow. Maybe I'll assign it as homework or extra credit next semester. Ah the joys of having sla.. Students.

Hello everyone, this is my son, Ezra.



Also, I would like to second Dave's Wikipedia and Flickr suggestions. I also think we should get together in the Midwest in August, or at least all make it to the next Beat reunion Silliman's wedding.


Also, I liked how most people that were at the Beat and didn't live there could never really tell who lived there, like it didn't matter.

Also, have you guys heard of bershon? photos here

Welcome to the new American Police State.

I wish more communities had people like John Adams.

"Love, Marital Aids and Forgiveness"
or
"The Longest Beat Post Ever"

I.

The history of love, The Beat and Dave Frank will have begun five years ago this November, a little more than two years before the Crunk Party and roughly a year following my institutionalization.

From a 2003 post by Will:

"Dave Frank is the man I hate to love. I'm not at all kidding when I call him a Gary or say he's the biggest tool I know."
-Will

"I can't put my figure on what kind of idiot Dave Frank is exactly. He's like a posing poser who hates the posers. It's like 'The personality traits I stole from someone else are cool, but yours suck. And not just cuz its different.'"
-Prosp3ct

"[I]f any one ever figures out Dave Frank, I am afraid we are going to have to kill them and their family lest this information get out [and] the universe implode."
-Lee

"As I just wrote on my blog, the world has a mixed opinion about Dave Frank. God sees both sides of the issue."
-Silliman

"Every day I drive past a gas station called 'Prospect Service Station.' Even though I have never met Prosp3ct, not do I know his real name, he seems the kind of fellow who would get 'The Cute' seal of approval. I am not so certain the same could be said about Dave, however."
-Sarah Hempel

But, as we all know, the love grew, and I often feel what Silliman described the summer before the Beat Class of 2006 entered its senior year.



II.

1.) I know it's been called for before, but does someone who is less lazy than me want start a Beat wikpedia entry? I promise to participate in resulting hijinks.

2.) Does someone know how to start an online Beat photo album where anyone of us can add shit? Maybe you can do it on flickr, I don't know because I don't have an account.

I can do a photo blog or whatever, but I didn't know what was the best way. There's tons of Beat pictures and memorabilia on facebook, this blog and spread around the internet (and inside Beatnik bedroom drawers which often share space with Eastern European pornography collections).

It would be nice to have all that stuff available in one place for posterity and women seeking marital aids.

3.) Can we update the links to the blogs that don't work? Obviously this is contingent on there being new blogs to replace the old ones, but send Will the link if you got one.

4.) Is there any other Beatniks or known associates (i.e. Luke, Hugger, Green) who have blogs we should link to?

5.) Could Will or whoever put up a picture of the house where the list of current Beat residents now is? Or/also maybe make a list that has each year the Beat was alive with the guys living there at the time.

6.) Can anyone think of an epigraph to be included in an award-winning account of The Beat that will be written by a precocious graduate student during the literary revival of the mid-21st century?

7.) August, I got your call Friday but was at work and then was walking around Virginia City yesterday and I don't get coverage there because my phone sucks. I'll call you today.


III.

This reminds me that it's time for all Beatniks to forgive each other.



It's very late in the West.



"Carl Solomon! I'm with you in Rockland where you're madder than I am/ I'm with you in Rockland where you must feel very strange."

-Ginsberg

Before a crazy mob?

beatnik questionnaire

Dylan Lindgren, 30 March 1985 - 8 March 2008

At 4:30am, Dylan "EZ D" Lindgren passed away after a prolonged battle against Hodgkin's lymphoma.

May he rest in peace.

Mea culpa.
Apologies for the sudden disappearance of comments. In attempting to restore access to the archives, HaloScan stuff disappeared. I still have a copy of the old, now defunct, template, if somebody better than I am with HTML and CSS wants to give it a go. In the meantime, there's always Blogger-powered commenting?

The Collegian featured The BEAT this past week. Check it out here.

Gentlemen, I am engaged.

So it goes.

A ring was produced from the hand of a naked and trembling and kneeling Jon Gibbons about two weeks ago. We're both very happy.

Not even kidding, Jon's long-lost brother:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=21684047

I watched this video a lot as a young Baptist.
Jon might recall it as well.

Carmen
"Satan Bite the Dust"

Nerd questions.

1.) Has anyone found a good continental philosophy blog?

2.) Does anyone know of a group that advocates nonviolence resistance in opposition to American bases around the world? I'm not just asking because I'm trying to speed up the looming battle between Lee Nunn and myself.

I definitely have these moments of, "Am I an adult now?" We have guest towels. You know ... Amber has these towels I'm not allowed to use unless we have guests over. When guests come over we get them out. That seems like that's a pretty big sign. But then, you know, we drank two cases of PBR this weekend.

        - Lee Nunn on the existential problem of guest towels

Also, what the fuck is everyone up to?

Place, profession and a given experience. Maybe a current or recent book.

Me.

-Carson City, Nevada.
-Reporter, writer.
-Me and Jen went sledding on a mountain near Lake Tahoe this Saturday and made a snow sculpture of a giant penis.
-"Amerika" by Kafka.

This documentary rocked my sack. It's the same guy who did "Hoop Dreams."

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0334416/
http://www.steviethemovie.com/

I just want to say, in response to Juno (excellent film)...We liked the Moldy Peaches before they were hip.

Who's got the crack?

Totally unsupported caucus predictions:

Obama beats Clinton, but within the margin of error. Edwards, not knocked out, joins forces with Richardson. Kusinich claims victory, no one knows for what, and Shirley MacClaine agrees.

McCain gets a surge, though not a win. Huckabee takes it, leaving the party split between McCain and Huckabee. Limbaugh gets mad, Huckabee becomes the GOP version of Howard Dean, and Romney takes the nomination. Gulliani says something something 9/11 something terrorists win.

At least one Ron Paul supporter, possibly while tagging the side of the tallest building in Iowa, is shot by a police officer. He will later claim to have been attacked by UN-sponsored riot police.

Forgotten Google bomb

Even though I once, very solemnly and symbolically, flipped off the tower. Even though I fought with the administration and the dean of men called me nasty names. Even though I disagreed w/ all sorts of things about Hillsdale. I really never meant to come out at the top of this google seach.

Or possibly Lee and Amber's Thanksgiving?

The Beat 20 year reunion spa party?

The Man Can...

From the web site All True Bible Stories For Children:

"Mother," Beth interrupted again. "If they are supposed to be spying, why are they visiting a prostitute? I thought that a prostitute was a woman who would let any man put his penis in her so long as he left her a bunch of money on the table by her bed?"
"That is true, Dear One," answered Beth's mother, "but sometimes spies must do strange things to get the job done. Now please, let me tell the story."

Molly: "Luke, if he had stayed a bachelor in 1986 and was a cocaine addict."

Yeah, even though the Beat is dead, some of us truly lived up to the "legends" thing. And the "sad," "depressed," "hilarious," "homoerotic," and "creepy" things.

All of which is remembered: Conquering campus; student streakers left mark on steps of Central Hall: Irregular, possibly unnatural hairgrowth; a thwarted Sigma Chi raid lands two streakers at college landmark


Gibbs takes the 'no pants party' to a new level



As someone said about something else: It was "not about hipsters looking for kicks, or about subversives and nonconformists, rebels without a cause who point the way for the radicals... not an anti-intellectual celebration of spontaneity or an artifact of literary primitivism. It's a sad and somewhat self-consciously lyrical story about loneliness, insecurity, and failure. It's also a story about guys who want to be with other guys."

Here's the new Collegian web site, and you can see he redesigned pages here.

Including myself

Dave continues his quest to personally report on everything said to be sinful, except in Nevada, where the response is more like "Oh."

From the Nevada Appeal:

I didn't know I liked the drink until I tasted one so I could show my friend how disgusting it was.

"One time," I told my friend, "my dad punished me by making me drink a V8."

My friend said I didn't know what I was talking about and that a Bloody Mary isn't a V8.

"It is a V8," I said, "and no one actually likes drinking a V8."

Then I drank the Bloody Mary.

"Oh," I thought.

Dave: 'Arm the sea cows for self defense'

According to NPR, the Beat's beloved Manatees could soon have to fend for themselves in Florida:

Wildlife officials in Florida want to "downlist" the manatee, moving its status from "endangered" to "threatened."

Supporters of the move say it's a sign of the Florida manatee's comeback. Environmental groups say it has more to do with the influence of developers.

As gentle vegetarians that spend most of their time foraging in rivers and bays for sea grass, manatees have no natural predators. But they do face significant danger — mostly from power boats and their propellers.

And now, Denver is lonesome for her heroes.
Beat Night on the intertubes.

I realize I don't really look forward to anything.

Not going to sleep.
Not getting up.
Not going to work.
Not coming home from work.
Not the weekend.

I just sort of live.

This pretty much sums up the Beat as I knew it:

"[On the Road] is not about hipsters looking for kicks, or about subversives and nonconformists, rebels without a cause who point the way for the radicals of the nineteen sixties. And the book is not an anti-intellectual celebration of spontaneity or an artifact of literary primitivism. It's a sad and somewhat self-consciously lyrical story about loneliness, insecurity, and failure. It's also a story about guys who want to be with other guys."

--"Drive, He Wrote: What the Beats were about" by Louis Menand, The New Yorker, Oct. 1, 2007

(the article also has a nice section on the homoerotic tension that was most often realized through girlfriend swapping)

Is the Collegian ever going to be published online again? It is the same damn page from this summer still.

Lee who?

I either have to assume that this -- While there were many highlights to the week long trip, the [White House] Fellows were especially appreciative of Lee Nunn. Aside from assisting with planning and logistics, Lee also introduced the Fellows to wild jumping salmon and the grizzly bears who love to eat them ... He told stories ranging from his tour in Vietnam to his fellowship in the Nixon administration and beyond. Yes, Fellows…There is life after the fellowship. With his actions, Lee set a high bar for this class as it transitions to alumni status. -- is not our Lee Nunn. Or I have to believe that he's taken his "mama bear" powers and chosen to use them for a chummy, lets-all-sing-a-chorus-of-he's-a-jolly-good-fellow type evil.

Lee, if you're going to betray us for evil, it better not be a salmon-watching trip for some suits. Also, I demand stories ranging from your time with Nixon to your days in 'Nam.

And Dave says, "Yatchs?"


Photo by Tony Gonzalez

Congratulations to Lukey2Beers, who is/is-going-to-be a father.

Thank you, Molly Moore. "The thorn in your hangover is a wild rose from Ireland."

The Scoop on the Beat house

We've moved out. Can't find enough people. Jon D. and I live at 219 N. Manning. Chase and Econ live at Parkplace. Dylan's at home with cancer. August is lost in a sea of registration tables, residence unknown.

Hard times have befallen Guertin, who is charging us around a thousand dollars worth of damages.

The flag, pictures and door are secure.

Gentlemen,

I am more than a little drunk....

I miss ya'll.

So it goes.

"I've always been mellow."
"I'm as confused as you are."
"I think the problem is, basically, we've totally outgrown the two-party system."
          - Chuck D., talking to me tonight.

Anderson Cooper is a total nutrug.

I just bought a "new" car. I'm going to drive it home and totally destroy it in a misguided attempt to convert it to run on waste vegitable oil. I don't have Bob's number or else I would call him so that he can laugh at me. If, by some freak accident, it happens to work, then I'll be taking a cross country trip in September if anyone is free and feels like getting lost and stranded in the desert. -HARVY

I got a job here.

When is graduation or any parties thereafter? I might be able to stop by if it is May 11-17.

"But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before."

Vonnegut is dead.



So it goes.

Mais nous étions hypes.

Malitia reboot

A: "We never get invited to potluck dinners."
L:(doing impression of potential potluck dinner host) "'They tell fat jokes...'"
A:(also doing impression of potential potluck dinner host) "'Their conversation is peppered with racial slurs.'"

-laughing-

*smack*
L:"And that, honey, is why you don't mess with the WARRIOR! YEAH!"

Desperate Times...

So it goes... the Beat once again appears to be on the brink of collapse.




If you were concerned about a violation of tradition, I understand. For all I know, it might be a big feast day, and the high-church folk can drink. But it's not about drinking. Well, maybe it is a little (or a lot).

The situation is three members are moving on. And the landlord wants some names, and I haven't got any. And there's still some uncertainty about Dylan and August. I was about to wash my hands of the place, but I was convinced to give things another try.

I'm going to use this party to reassert the Beat ethos into the community here. Hopefully, I can attract some new members to help carry on.

If some of you were planning to come, and you assumed it would take place in late April or early May, condolences. But if you are free, come on the 9th.

I'd like to organize a cross-continental expedition to Cape Disappointment (1, 2, 3, 4).

Fuck your grief.

1. The record label is "Fat Fish Music".
2. The babies look scared as shit (especially the one on the left), like there's a douchebag from Full House hovering over them or something.
3. Why is he sleeping in a bed in a New Mexico adobe palace court yard?
4. The black choir is just gratuitous.
5. That guy playing bongos is so into it.
6. Is that a monastery they're in?
7. And he's naked in the there with the babies.
8. They're not even going into a bath or anything.
9. Oh, Beach Boys.
10. I like the "goof off" moments.
11. He's wearing white jean overalls at one point.
12. And trapped in a film strip.
13. 2:06, I think they show the baby's genitals. No, I wasn't looking. Shut the fuck up.
14. That keyboard player has a sweet vest.
    

As I recall, the door was first signed in 2000, or maybe 2001. It's filled up a bit in 6 or 7 years.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kancho

Jack says everyone must see this before they die:

Molly just sent me this. From the Communist Party.

Note:
-Econ in the frozen section.
-"Fast, easy" under the banana sign.
-The irony of "Seafood" in the picture.
-Jon's unnaturally natural way of standing like a woman.
-My poor excuse of felating technique.

A very Beat Christmas, courtesy of McSweeney's Internet Tendency.

While looking up "poop" in the Oxford English Dictionary I came across this entry:


poontang, n.

Sexual intercourse, sex; women collectively, or a woman, regarded as a means of sexual gratification. Also attrib. Hence as v. intr., to copulate.

1929 T. WOLFE Look Homeward, Angel 343 A fellow's got to have a little Poon Tang.

1947 C. WILLINGHAM End as Man II. vii. 78 Poley looked out the window and saw a pretty Negro girl on the sidewalk... ‘Eye that poon tang there,’ he said.

1959 R. CONDON Manchurian Candidate ii. 21 Every now and then I think about you coming all the way to Korea from New Jersey to get your first piece of poontang.

1966 C. HINES Heat's On xv. 122 That ain't our racket. We just sells poontang here.

1968 E. J. GAINES Bloodline 144 Yesterday this time I was poon~tanging like a dog.

1970 D. DODGE Hatchetman x. 127 ‘Is it true what they say about gook women?’..‘I heah it changes youah luck, though. Like black poontang.’

1972 ‘T. COE’ Don't lie to Me iv. 44 May be you're some kind of poontang sex maniac.

1972 Listener 22 June 845/2 Massa gonna smack yo black ass, nigger. You can't go chasing white poontang all night long.

1976 Honolulu Star-Bull. 21 Dec. E-10/6 (Advt.), The other girls majored in home ec...but Debby majored in Poon-tang.

Despite the bad times at The Beat recently, there still is good news and glad tidings: our LORD now has a permanent presence among us. Thanks to Zach the Pirate and his theatre goonies The Beat is equipped with a giant cross which, as you can see, now hangs from the ceiling. If only we knew someone to play the organ for our in-house services...

Dylan has cancer.

(The following is what I've heard from August and subject to his revision)

Dylan has stage 4 Hodgkin's disease, which is a form of lymphoma.

Stage 4 is highly advanced, meaning it involves other organs besides the lymph nodes. Dylan apparently has a growth in his lungs.

The average recovery/remission rate is 80-85% for Stage 4 Hodgkins. The good part is that it is a very localized growth and hasn't spread to any other place, which is much more difficult to treat. The fact that Dylan is younger bodes well for him as well.

If you know him, I think Dylan's character as a human being really speaks for itself. All our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family. I'll try to find some contact information and post it this week, so we can write and visit him.

Tonight The Beat decided to have a bit of a bonfire. One of the Beat sofas and that disgusting floral print chair that everyone left for dead at the beginning of the year are officially a pile of ash.


Taken from the roof.

Yeeha!

Every good Beat will get to die to this song.

Thinking of all of you


This one is for August: The Male Gaze

This one is for all the Beats (w. props to Fr. Quinn and the holy VW): Acting out for God.

This one is for Dave, and that dream he had sophomore year: Fighting churches

Happy Holidays, lovers.

New address:
507 W. Third St., Apt. #1
Madison, IN 47250

Tele:
(812) 265-3684

getting closer...

The Narrows (formerly The Midnight Special), the current Beat band, at the Battle of the Bands. The judges apparently gave us perfect scores but we didn't get any crowd votes. I figured this would happen so I left right after we finished and started drinking at The Beat. All's well that ends well.

Here are some videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_upXcJfnNUo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IE_KhGUMvUc

I know reposting comedic video clips from YouTube is lame, but this one stars John C. Reilly and has the phrase "no weiner" in it.

Justified like Timberlake, fellas.

Could one of you fine young gents with the celebrated tat' post a photo so I can make sure to have the right font?

Guys, it is time to bring back the debauch.

Who can remember when all The Beat guys were drunk in the same room? The only hang-over I've had in the last month I got drinking by myself in the living room. The point is that no Beat guy should ever have to get drunk in the living room alone. No Beat guy should ever have to drink alone period.

This is a sad and disappointing state of affairs. This is a pathetic and anti-climactic conclusion to a long legacy of drunken debaunchery. This is shameful. Something must be done.

Yes, we all are broke. But that's why they have cheap shit.

Yes, we all have classes. But In Pigritia Victoria.

Yes, we all have shit going on. But it's time to fuck that shit.

I have been the worst of us all, no doubt. But when I get back from work tonight I will be scouring for booze and drinking too much of what I find. Dylan, of course, deserves praise here for being the only one of us to keep up the pace.

In conclusion: guys, it is time to bring back the debauch.

Silliman, Dave, Harvy, Bob and Gibs, I need you guys to go to a tailor and get measured for tuxes (including shoe sizes). I think I've picked out the tuxes, complete with waistcoats and bowties.

Yes Bob, we're letting you wear a tux too and not the lovely bridesmaid dress I had originally suggested.















Festivities begin on the 29th with our rehearsal dinner at the bar...beer and nachos, need I say more?

I thought of you all when I saw this manatee fighting the void by doing the stupidest possible thing he could do. I tried to explain to my co-workers at the newspaper that the manatee, specifically the manatee smoking a cowboy-killer, was the mascot of my house at school and that Dave used to draw pictures of manatees and hang them up.

I don't think they understood.



For Christmas, we '06 grads should all pitch in $5 and adopt a manatee in the name of the Beat.

In Pigrattia Victoria,

I saw Broken Social Scene in Indianapolis last night and was struck by how much they rocked and how lead singer Kevin Drew looks like Evan.

The Nunn's latest family member, Guinness, a three year old rottweiler/pitbull that we got from the Humane Society yesterday.

"What do you mean, 'Why are you chillin' with hoes?' Read the New Testament, bitches."

-Jesus

By the way, we need to add to the "True Badasses" section the Rev. Quinn Mann.

At what point am I just being pretentious, as opposed to being informative, when I add "... in French" to the end of a sentence?

"I'm reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez in French."

"I'm delivering a lecture on Memphis Blues in French."

Incidentally, does anyone have any blues MP3s they could send me?
Jag.Gibbs@gmail.com

My life is ... something

Today I saw a banjo player, from some big country band I've never heard of, standing on a stage at an Army base underneath a giant giant American Flag, playing along to a CD of Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby."



I wasn't sure what the song was until Vanilla said "word to your mother." Then I remembered it from VH1's top 100 one hit wonders.

Lee,

If we ever get to the point where we don't like that tattoo, where we aren't comforted by it, we can change it to the Gabriel Garcia Marquez quote,

"'That's how it goes,' Ursula said, 'but not so much.'"

Or that could just get a spot on the other arm.

I find myself strangely comforted by having "So It Goes" tattood on my arm.

I went to World Dairy Expo this week...free cheese is sweet.

Amber and I spent half a day reading Harry Potter side books (The History of Quiditch and something about Magical Creatures).

Harry Potter is on my list of guilty pleasures...along with NWA, Chicken Gizzards and Fleetwood Mac.

People at work are starting to call the VW The ManVan.

Amber has decided that Dave and Jen are "the cutest couple ever."

My sister said I could bring up a goat for the happy couple. It could live in the back yard and keep the grass down, and then they could milk it, and when they get hungry they could eat it! Granted it's a boy goat, so the milking bit is a little tricky. Though Jon seemed to pull it off last time he came to the farm.

I applied for a job as the Wal-Mart greeter. They told me that I was not special enough. I am planning to be there for your wedding Luke, provided my car does not explode. I met a girl online that I am trying to ask out without being super creepy. And, in 1998 Addidas was forced to change the name of their all natural hemp tennis shoes from "Chronic" to "Gazzel Natural"... The same year that Sony recalled several hundred night vision handycams because they were able to see through certain fabrics...

I start work at a factory on Monday.

Can someone think of a Workers League name for me?

BeatBlog: "Are any other alumns planning to be back for homecoming, or am I the only tool without a job/life? I don't promise to bring lots of booze, but I promise to bring SOME booze if I can stay a night or two in the old place. And if you place your orders early I might be able to bring over a big bottle (think over a gallon) of pretty good scotch next year"

Oh yeah, does THE BEAT have anything on the Class of '06-gets-to-draw-on-the-ground area?

CD Release Party

Wear your best pair of nut-huggin' jeans and come out to see me play this Saturday 9 pm @ the BEAT. It could take a while. You might want to bring some snacks.

New Car

Rob Loudon, one of the most brilliant and compelling minds Hillsdale has ever known, will not be returning this semester (or ever) to the college at the behest of an unjust and barbaric administration.

This may sound odd, but can anybody tell me when Jim Stephens's office hours are?

Guess who died?

Chase informed me that kilt-wearing douche bag is now a Hillsdale College student.

How's the socio-political-cultural climate at the school this year? Better, worse?

Ideas executed:

John and I decided to "hedge our bets" and go to Walmart...

1. Condoms, 2 boxes of (hey! whoa!)
   
2. Incense, 4 packs of
3. KY warming gel + massager
   
4. Incense trays, 2

Condom types, by the way, speak volumes about yourself and your pseudo-Freudian neuroses. For instance, I bought standard sized, desensitizing-for-maximum-longevity condoms. John: Magnum XL. (The thought also occurred to us that, we, as two men who ostensibly know each other, buying such products together, might be construed as Sodomites.)

Ideas waiting to be executed, which will probably never happen:

1. Econ had the idea of setting up hidden cams all around the house. We would open up a web domain and stream live-reality TV for Kappas to pleasure themselves any time they pleased.
2. Dylan had the idea of setting up a kegerator (sp?) in the downstairs bathroom. I think he wanted to locate it behind the mirror. This idea originated when he bought a keg and kept it in the bathroom.
   
3. Jam-night, every other week, at the Beat. Open to any band that didn't suck too badly. Could possibly be for poetry (I guess) and comedy acts.

Well, that's what we're up to. Here's one of our cats.

If only this weren't true.

Available now at your neighborhood Wal-Mart: Eurofuck, Country Club, and 70s Groove remixes of "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk".

Oh yes, oh yes.

Back in Fort Wayne, two and a half hours from Hillsdale (/sweet man bag action).

To all the Beat Boys (and the girls) going back to the first day back in school,

I know when I was there I'd always refer to the place like it was prison, like ask people "what they were going to do when they got out," and I know that I still do that sometimes. And that's fair. College is a four year sentence where what you do is all planned for you and you put in your time and they give you a slip of paper and let you leave. But I was just thinking last night, that it might be good just to say, you know, there are worse place you could be.


Last nights coke raid.