Saturday, May 03, 2003

Well, the toga party seemed to be quite the success. There were about fifteen of us betoga'd. Though all were regaled in classical attire, it cannot be denied that the resplendent Nik glided through the party as a shimmering Greek goddess among mere mortals. I'm sure all of you who saw her will agree, and if you did not, well, your loss, I must say. In other respects it was a good time, too. Silliman delivered a crushing defeat of Sato. The furniture flamed and the dancing bodies flailed. I shaved my body and coated my oh-so-white self in lustrous olive oil. Caleb, Wazoo, Mitchell and Seraphim nearly caught themselves on fire. The police told us we were violating open burning laws. Stack tried to seduce Krupa. Metzger was monitoring the student population. Tom improvised a denim toga. Silliman told the world what he really thought of it. Lampshades became apparel. Prosp3ct miraculously turned wine into spicy grape juice. Mr. Gugg donned the infamous Party Jacket. Danck brandished his "Photon Light" gun. All in all, an enjoyable time. Pics should be up on my website soon enough.

Friday, May 02, 2003

Right, so what’s up with health food? Why would anyone eat “healthy”? Tell me. Is it really “healthy” for everyone to die of colon, breast, and prostate cancer? You know, if we weren’t living so long we wouldn’t be having these problems. To die from bacon, lighting, pork chops, disgruntled Arminians, sausage, anime seizures, or pig is natural… but come on, COLON CANCER!?
And speaking of colon cancer, it is entirely obvious that the best super powers are 1) flying 2) moving through matter and 3) invisibility. And Wazoo, shut up about morphing. Morphing is clearly the handmaiden to the D3vil. Step back from the brink! Seriously, could you pick a more cowardly super power? Why don’t you just use the “invincible shield of doom”? I can’t believe that we are in the same house. Did I raise you that poorly? No, I didn’t raise you at all! That’s right I woulda never raised one so yellow (figuratively—not actually because I’m asian). But believe me this: you will be corrected this egregious error, even if it means I hafto go Darth Maul on you. Let the world know, I am the Annihilator!

Thursday, May 01, 2003

Due to some... interesting ShoutOuts, I had to delete this post. But, here it is again, from the Gugger:

Here is the first episode of BeatNotes, from me. It's fairly disturbing, so consider this a warning and disclaimer, all ye of tender disposition.

I am sitting at Prosp3ct's computer as various others have what they themselves describe as an "orgy" on the bed.... I'm not sure what they're doing, but only Prosp3ct is drinking, which makes me question the truly orgical nature of the event. But somehow it involves tickling, taking ones socks off, strange cuddling and seeing how many people can fit on one small bed. It's very strange.

I now only have one shoe and sock on, and everyone is laughing. Methinks it is ridiculous. But anyway--they are also listening to strange music. I'm not quite sure how this qualifies as an orgy (as I said before), but it is certainly not something one might see anywhere, or any day. So come to the Beat. The Orgy is ongoing.

But I'm not involved. Nothing of this sort happens to happen in MY room, let it be known once and for all.

I'm going to go study Greek now.

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

OHHHH BABY: The long-awaited piece in the Collegian about the Beat is here. Check it out. Unfortunately, the pic of us burning the sofa isn't on the Web site.


Sunday, April 27, 2003

Haiku for Hamsters
those hamsters sure reek
their stench flows throughout the house
oh please, clean the cage
It just occurred to me that I've probably had more contact with Seraphim this weekend over the blog than in person. That's a little unnerving and more than a little sad. We're up around Geek Factor 17 with that one.
Semper te video.