Tuesday, May 13, 2003

ADIEU: The Beat is now empty—and relatively clean (no thanks to y'all). ;-) Perhaps as atonement, perhaps because of senior love, the Gugg and I cleaned out the house yesterday and today, delivering a whopping 22 big black bags full of trash to Hillsdale's stinky dump. I also cleaned up the kitchen and emptied the fridge, which was left in a narsty state, to wit:

1) I threw away at least 5 tubs of "Cool Whip"-like things, 2 of which were full (and very old). (Ahem, Sato).

2) In the very back, I discovered a half-full liter of vitamin D milk. I yanked it out and held it upside down over the sink, as I had done to the 3 or 4 other containers holding varying amounts of liquid. Huge chunks of milk squares splatted into the sink. I checked the expiration date: Dec 5, 2002. (Ahem, Sato).

3) Mr. and Mrs. Gugg threw out a number of eggs sitting in a carton that had expired in November. (Ahem, I dunno: mebe Sato, but definitely not me).

4) About half way through the middle shelf I found an old ice cream tub. "Weird," I thought, "what's this doing in the fridge?" I opened it up to find the leftovers of Will's excellent South American rice/bean glop. Unfortunately, the grainy, mushy substance had acquired a massive culture of equally grainy, mushy, fuzzy mold. (Ahem, Will).

In short, there were two big black bags full of food-like items, most of which were quite old, many of which had some "cultures," a few of which were basically empty. The fridge still needs a wipe down, but at least it won't be the fetid home of the world's most effective science experiment by the time August rolls around.

Btw, for future reference: It is not a good idea to move the trash behind the house if you want to get "rid" of it in time for a party. It may make the house look cleaner, but the other side of the back does not have a gutter, which means that all of the water from that side of the roof pours into the trash cans for two weeks, soaking the trash and creating a tremendously disgusting quagmire of soggy bread, smelly, expired food products and used tissues. (Ahem, Wazoo).

As I said, dear ones, the Gugg and I had quite a time. Consider it our senior gift to the house. And with that, adieu!