Early Christmas Eve

"So I've been wearing a viking helmet and smoking cigarettes and shooting August with an airsoft gun. It practically is a party. Except all the beer bottles are empty." -- Silliman

August, after waking up from a 20-hour nap:

"I had this dream where you, me, Dan Greene, Jack Hittenger, a terrier and Tom Waits were trashing Saga. Jack was apparently feeling vindictive and kept shouting that we were doing "random acts of terrierism" and then Dan Greene hit him. Tom Waits kept talking in his weird-ass voice about how he had done this stuff for 20 years."

Indeed, what is dada?

Schnaugs

The thing about living with just August - with the rest of you off Happy Holidaying - is that one day he'll appear and be saying "what's for dinner" and give you a 20 minute discussion of Weber on Melville and then you won't see him again for days. It's weird, the sporaticness. And also his mom kinda freaked me out.


Is there any consensus on the prefered late-December holiday(s) well-wishing from the Beat? Merry X-kwananukkamas?

So not true

"Undergrad presentations are no place for experimentations in slant rhyme."
        - Dan Greene

Microsoft Office has given me an early dose of home.

Spellcheck is apparently set on appalachian mode--below is the sentence it suggested:

"With them fingers close my eyes."

Ryan, I order you to write a song.

P.S. I just spellchecked this message; spellcheck doesn't recognise itself.

Oh the void.

I had a dream...

that we started this club were we sat around and watched videos of suicide bombers all day and Dave kept saying, "well, at least we're not those guys!"

Not only is the Void staring back...it is also making funny faces.

Courtesy of Farnham: a slogan off.

Current idea at the Beat: write ourselves and/or the Beat into Wikipedia.

Gibs, after some sort of revelatory experience involving a buggy and train, is starting a counter movement. The Beat will soon be devided into two factions - The Voids and The Absurds.

The void

"Picture a number of men in chains, and all condemned to death; each day some are strangled in the sight of the rest; those who remain see their own condition in that of their fellows, looking at one another with sorrow and without hope, each awaiting his turn. This is the picture of the condition of man."
        - Pascal

Evan's Fingers Be Lightning, John's Drums Be a Cannon, and Kyle's Bass Blows Our Collective Asses Out

An acrid pall is hanging over our basement, thick with a loathesome doom. It smells of beer, melted tubes and fire. Like a war. Like a firefight. The whole house is hemorrhaging sound as Midnight Special rocks the revolution.

Two double-deuces of Steel Reserve is cheaper than a forty, FYI.

The summit of void is insurmountable.

Since posting Toothpaste for Dinner comics seems to be the flavor of the week, here's one for the beat.

Blackout '05
Beatniks in the dark.

Everyone at The Beat is losing their respective minds. Man to watch for the upcoming week: Jon.

House Neurosis Poll:
1.Jon
2.Me
3.Lee
4.August
5.Dan
6.HoneyBear
7.Harvey

Somewhere in Japan....

Testing testing...

Can you smoke caffine? Apparently, no one's tried and we don't know.

Why are cell phones great? So your roommate can call you from the bathroom and ask you to bring him TP.

Nominations on best costume of the night?

You should read John McNamara's blog.

Crunk Fix
I've been layin' down some tracks with a buddy.
AETz: The heaviest bombs in Japan since Nagasaki.

SATURDAY NIGHT

THE BEAT

COMMUNIST PARTY

spread the revolution, comrad!

Just to clear things up, the beatnick found passed out in random house, was found passed out in random frat house. On the pot (not the rag). And he also blew chunks. He blew chunks at the presidents house. On the presidents lawn.

So, August made a zing tonight. Not a burn, not a burn pshhhh, and certainly not a burn third degree pshhhh. We talked about it, and his comment "they are descent" in response to my comment that people have sex with the dead all the time.

Can we invite this guy to one of our parties?

"Ohhhhh, uterian Cock Block. 'The fruit of my loins shall not be corrupted by your seed, be gone!'" Lee's description of my date last saturday.

August: Are you hung over?
Lee: No.
August: Well you're drinking water...

Lee and Jon, in a contest to describe the Beat

sketch
sketchy
the sketch
el sketcherino
sketchalicious
sketched up
sketchtastic 7000
sketchilliac
sketcherific
sketchzilla
sketchville
sketchburg
sketchopolis
sketchogo
sketchvestites
sketchfuzz

Lee: We also make up funny words.

Friday night review:

One beatnik AWOL, found next morning passed out in random house.

Five people passed out in the living room.

At least two beatniks barfing their guts up.

One beatnik maced in the face for touching member of the same sex in their "bathing suit area."

PS. one Beat Pledge barfing the next morning...light weight.

I thought I'd pass this on

If anyone is interested besides me...

My Morning Jacket and Kathleen Edwards in concert at St. Andrews next Tuesday (25th). Kathleen is like a Canadian Lucinda Williams. She's very good - I'd say she's nearly as good as Lucinda, which is saying something. MMJ is Neil Young playing Radiohead awash in reverb. More info HERE. Cost = $15

Broken Social Scene is also playing at the Majestic Theater in Detroit on the 27th, but I'm at home then.

Take it to the streets!

Coming soon to theaters everywhere in Kresge

You wouldn't have thought so, but the very blue top-hat-and-monocle-wearing hippo head is indeed the exact image of Mark Twain.

Other excellent scenes from the five minute Mark Twain midterm film shot by beatniks on location this evening were the Tarintino and Guantanamo inspired tourture scene backed by a washed out American flag in the basement, the half-staff show down where da Profane Frank (in cowboy hat) was shot down dead (at least) five times, and the very popular hippo head/Twain dance sequence where Twain finds his life purpose in, quote, loving your mama.

So while supplies last and all that.

If TFing was the most popular form of intimacy, the world would be a kinder place for August.

New Party Trick: wearing a giant costume hippo head with a top hat and a monocle. See Lee at a party for further details.


In other news Ryan seems to have a toady.

Fighting the good fight for pigritia victoria

Prosp3ct: How go things on the beat front?
Silliman: um... latin, ghostbusters, hockey, a paisley shirt, with dishes laying around the living room.
Prosp3ct: In that order?
Silliman: pretty much.
Prosp3ct: Very well. Carry on soldier.
Silliman: Yes sir.

Where weirdness reins

August is ironically calling himself "Captain Alcoholic."

Ryan says genetics is obviously bunk because if there are genetics then how come his two scientist parents didn't give him the pass-chemistry-and-physics-easy-with-an-A gene? Huh?

Lee's driving to Wisconsin for a wedding of someone he doesn't know.

Jon and Dave just got back from "cleaning the House of the Lord."

I'm scrounging the internet for technical and scholarly articles on Artificial Intellegence.

I haven't seen Harvy in days. I think he's hiding.

The Beat got an honorable mention in the Collegian's best places to party. Apparently our parties are "very chill, pants optional."

I Swore a RUMBLING OATH to Abandon My Xanga

New blog...well...it's been around. Here's the link.

Over Jordan, over home

Last night we discovered a common appreciation for black gospel music, the old spirituals and so forth. Or maybe we just feel manly when we sing that low. Anyway none of us apparently know one whole song, but one of these days we're going to have Spirituals-Hymn-sing, with maybe a late slide into Johnny Cash. The lyrics - including Old Time Religion, Go Down Moses, Glory Glory Hallelujah, 'Zekial Saw the Wheel, I Am a Poor Wayfaring Stranger & Swing Low Sweet Chariot - are all here.

Speaking of the south, August "I hate you all" Stafford (who wasn't man enough to wear a Chester A. Arthur for even a day) thinks the Beat should get a deep frier so we can enjoy Elvis's beloved deep fried peanut butter and banana sandwhiches.

Mmmm--What Siliman meant to say was as follows:

Watching Blood

Watching Corpse

Getting Krunk't

Raiding the Mu Alpha Party and Stealing Foods

And Smoking Free Hookahs at the Arabic Party

... more to follow.

A Friday evenin' of culture (Hillsdale style)

2 - Group house cleaning by the whole sick crew.
6 - Viewing of a La Jete-styled (student) film starring Mr. Gibbons.
9 - Polka music at the Annex with, as Honey Bear said, dancing depending on pre-partying.
12 - Drinks and music at the funeral home.

To those who may be interested:

Lucinda Williams in Ann Arbor on Oct. 2.

Finer details of demonology

Nunn: If Satan really possesed Emily Rose... Wait. Wasn't he called Lucifer before the fall?
Silliman: Yeah.
Nunn: So if he's calling himself Lucifer then like he's not really.
Silliman: Well he might still call himself Lucifer.
Nunn: Shit, I thought I had him.
Silliman: You gotta remember, Lee, he's the Father of Lies.
Nunn: Damn.

Homecoming.

The Beat.

Saturday.

Be there!

Just so everyone is forewarned. I have a video camera this year. I plan to tape some, if not all, of the crazy shit that goes down at the beat. Any copies of these recordings must be hidden away, only to be shown at Beat gatherings, or to get some. Unles Boy Wonder starts running for political office. Then we may use them, collectivly, as a house, to black mail said boy wonder, who ever he may be. Typing drunk is hell. I see that Jon and I have missed the first No Pants Party, so I will post a picture from Scotland.

Cheers,
HARVY

SPREAD THE WORD: Party at the Beat Saturday. Chilling and jaming to ensue 9ish.

Inaugural links for the 1st day of classes

History of the tee shirt.

How to sacrifice a goat.

Apocalyptic squirrels.

I guess Amanda and I are...broken up...or something...on a break (maybe). I dunno, but I guess that was the last thing that was coming between sharing some tender, homoerotic moments in the same room with August this semester. See you all on the 21st. There are some pictures from the final Greybyrds show on my shit-ass xanga.

Peter Jennings is dead.

There goes the "liberal media."

Sssst. Burn!

As much as I was demanding a monkey, I'm willing to admit that even an Elvis-impersonating monkey would not liven up weeknights at The Beat like a couple of Lee's lasers and gernades.

Breaking news: RoboRyan is off campus.

Time to move a bed into the Turkish prison?

I'm AmTraking whatever trains of thought were present before this post.

I will freely admit I am pretentious. In fact, for no apparent reason,

The List of Things Deemed Bourgeoise:
-Spacing
-The Grateful Dead
-Eating
-Discussing Music
-Those Damn T-Shirts with Things Like "I Have Issues" Written Upon Them
-Debating about Music
-The Internet
-The Term "Bourgeoise"
-The Expression That Something Is "The New Black"
-Gene Wilder
-Art Garfunkel (the files for both "incredibly redundant" and "terrifically useless" were already full)
-Sex (although this falls more into the "passe" category)

'God used me as hammer, boys'

Ethical question: how sappy does a friend have to get before it's okay that you just have to punch him in the head?

Ryan, I'm talkin' to you.

Silliman, I find it very amusing that this is one of the first results when google image searching your name. It is not until much later in the search that you find this picture of you (looking very much like my aunt's former lover) or this one of you looking very kalifornia (notice how I spell it with a K, thereby making myself cool).

And if I have anything to say about it, this will be the new top result!

Where monkies are born every minute

I was thinking about Lee's monky, the one he doesn't have and is not bringing to the Beat. Too bad, I was thinking, a monkey'd be cool.

Heyman once had us all in stitches and all the smoking SAGA workers whispering wow with his description of how he was going to have a monkey and a turtle (working as a team). I know certain beatnik's would rather have a manatee, but really, where are we going to keep a manatee and could we fend off the attacking boat motors?

And if we can't have a manatee, we should have a monkey.

And then I was thinking, holy monky noir! Our own dear Finite is constantly tripping over to see his JewishMother in where?

Baraboo WI.

And what's in Baraboo WI?

The world flipping head quarters of the Barnum and Baily Bros. Big Top Circus. I mean, they're probably practically giving monkies away.

Today I drew a keg in CAD. Then I drew the Beat. Much amusement was had.

...and I just crashed my computer trying to figure out how many kegs we could fit in the Beat.

PS. I don't think I'm suppose to have CAD installed on my computer.

Strange, but I miss you guys.

Yesterday, a man in the gas station was complaining about the new cigarette tax here in Kentucky. He is apparently going to switch to Ky's Best from Camels because, he "refuses to pay more than $3 for a pack of smokes." After handing the cashier $2.05, he walked out of the store a happy man with a pack of smokes.

Eat your hearts out.

I bought a monkey today...

...no, not really but it was the only cool thing I could think of saying...

Party on, rock out, peace, etc.

Reflections on the weekend, anyone?

Beat Announcements:

Announcement the first:
This coming Tuesday, May the Third, Anno Domine Two-Thousand and Three will be held at the beat Ye Olde annual Toga Partae.

Announcement the second:
This coming Friday, May the Sixth, Anno Domine Two-Thousand and Three will be held at the beat the annual "That ain't poetry it's just noise" Beatnik Party.

Announcement the third:

I can't find that gallon of Everclear, which we should not allow into the wrong hands (Whiskey Kate).

"If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind."
-Kurt Vonnegut

ah, finals...

Cold pizza and gourmet coffee make a delightful breakfast and an energizing start to the day...especially when your day starts at 1 in the afternoon.

This morning/afternoon we were reminded that the front porch of the Beat is equiped with a doorbell. We were very excited.

Lou Reed, David Bowie, or Iggy Pop, and why.

Important Question:

Are the Beat members more like the Avengers, the Fantastic Four (despite numerical issues, naturally) or the X-men (If you need me to explain why we're not like the Justice League, you obviously should not be posting).

Party at the Beat Friday. Why? les raisons trois:

Reason the first (and foremost, incidentally): Just 'cause.

Reason the second: Dr. Dre was born today in 1965

Reason the third: It's either a coming-out party for my head, or a going-away party for my hair.

So, I'm watching the movie rendition of William Golding's Lord of the Flies...oh the irony.

FROM THE ABYSS OF ALUMNI-DOM

A few notes.

1) Wazoo has a blog. http://wildwazoo.blogspot.com. Check it out.

2) Seraphim is engaged.

3) Rome is cool.

4) Are my movies still at the Beat? If there's a whole bunch of old movies, they're mine. I'll come get them, sometime, some way, some how.

That is all.